


Happy Christmas, Where's The Booze?

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-14
Updated: 2006-03-14
Packaged: 2018-08-16 05:49:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8089939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: The guys get a bit giggly. And it's Christmas. Set in Season 1. (01/08/2005)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

Trip entered the mess, smiling as he walked through the crowd. He could see a pile of presents on a table next to...he squinted, then moved closer, trying to figure out what, precisely, the large, gaily decorated object was. It looked like some sort of large pole with garland wrapped around it, a few ornaments hanging off the garland, and a star on the top. He added the present he'd brought for the swap to the pile, then stood back looking at the pole, puzzled.

Hoshi slid up next to him. "I think it's a Festivus pole."

"Excuse me?" he said, turning to face her.

Hoshi nodded towards the pole. "Read the sign."

Trip turned back to the pole and stepped toward the sign she had indicated. "A Festivus for the rest of us!" Then in smaller type, he read, "A holiday invented on a 20th century comedy show and still celebrated by some Americans. Held on December 23rd, it allows family to air grievances and demonstrate feats of strength."

Trip peered at Hoshi out of the corner of his eye. "Odd."

She nodded. "I think the party planner's quest to make this an all- inclusive holiday party went a bit, um..." she let her voice trail off, and shrugged, taking a sip from the drink in her hand.

Seeing Rostov enter the mess, Trip waved his arm, saying, "Hey, Rostov, join us here by this, um..."

"Festivus pole," Hoshi added, snickering slightly.

Trip smiled at Hoshi, then turned to Rostov, who was placing the gift he'd brought onto the nearby table. "Looking forward to Christmas?"

"Yeah, but I'm Russian Orthodox, so my Christmas already happened back on December 7th."

"You're from Russia?" Trip said, good-naturedly. "Where's your accent?" he questioned, a slightly teasing tone in his voice.

Rostov replied, "Actually, I'm from Kazakhstan, but my family is of Russian decent, so we celebrate like Russians," he laughed. "I've worked long and hard _not_ to speak English with too much of an accent, so thank you." He bowed slightly, then turned to Hoshi, smiling. "Anyway, New Year's Eve is our big holiday, not Christmas. We'd get a visit from Ded Moroz, Grandfather Frost, who rings the doorbell and leaves the presents. He usually comes with his granddaughter, Snegurochka."

Trip interrupted, "Stego...?"

"Snegurochka," Rostov replied, laughing slightly. "You can call her the Frost Maiden."

Trip nodded gratefully. "Christmas is always a super big deal in Florida. Just imagine it," he smiled, taking in both Hoshi and Rostov with his glance. "It's rarely cold enough to snow at that time of year, so Christmas doesn't tend to be quite like what you see in the movies." He held up both hands. "So picture this: the lights on the palm trees, fake snow on people's roofs," he turned to Hoshi, confusion on his face. "Is that 'roofs', or 'rooves'?"

Hoshi swallowed her drink quickly so she could reply. "You spell it 'roofs', but you can pronounce it either way."

Trip nodded, then turned back to Rostov. "Animatronic reindeer in the sand. Santa arriving by boat."

Hoshi laughed. "Probably wearing a loud shirt and drinking a tropical drink." When Trip smiled, she continued, "Christmas in America is neat. We don't really have Christmas like that in Japan; at home, Christmas is more like Valentine's Day is in the States. Especially Christmas Eve - it's considered a time for romantic miracles." She raised her eyebrows, leaning in towards the two men. "Extending a girl an invitation to be together on Christmas Eve has very deep, romantic implications."

Trip laughed. "I'll have to remember that."

She smiled and turned to Rostov. "For us as well, New Year's is more of the family get-together holiday. On New Year's Eve, you clean your house, then dress in your best clothes. It's all about new beginnings." She furrowed her brow. "Of course, December is also the month of year-end parties. Companies and clubs often book a section of a restaurant to have drinking parties, known as 'bonenkai'; forget the old year parties. This leads to streets, subways, and trains full of people in varied states of intoxication."

Rostov smiled. "That sounds like a good idea. Where are the drinks?"

Hoshi pointed him towards a far table.

"Can I get either of you something?" Both shook their heads, and Rostov moved away. As he left, Malcolm walked towards them and placed the gift he'd brought on the table next to the pole.

"Merry Christmas, Malcolm," said Hoshi, flashing him a smile over her mug.

"Happy Christmas," he replied, smiling at her wanly. He turned to Trip, saying under his breath, "Where's the booze?"

Trip pointed towards the drinks table, and Malcolm's expression brightened. "Ah, excellent. Can I get you anything?"

Hoshi shook her head, holding up her still-full cup.

Trip smiled. "Actually, yeah, I will have a drink. Get me anything, beer, whatever's fine."

Malcolm nodded. "Back in a moment," he said cheerfully and moved off towards the table.

Trip turned back to Hoshi. "So, were you involved in the organization of these festivities?"

She shook her head. "No, not this year. It's kind of nice to be a guest, rather than having to worry about..."

Hoshi stopped talking as Jon walked up to them, his brow furrowed, and interrupted their conversation. "I was just contacted by T'Pol. We have a situation. Trip, I'm going to need you. Hoshi, I'll need you on the bridge." Seeing the cup in her hand, he asked them both, "Have you been drinking?"

Trip shook his head, and Hoshi replied, "Only seltzer so far, sir."

Jon nodded sharply, saying, "Where's Malcolm?" just as Malcolm returned to Trip's side, a pint in each hand.

Seeing the drinks, Jon frowned. "You haven't been drinking, have you?"

Malcolm looked mournfully at his beverage. "No, sir. Not yet."

Jon nodded. "Good. Let's go."

* * *

Hoshi turned to T'Pol and the captain from her station on the bridge. "You were right, sir, it is a distress call. They're saying that some debris struck their ship, and their engines and environmental systems are damaged. They're asking for technical assistance."

Jon nodded. "Can you get a message to them?"

"Yes, sir."

"Let them know we'll send a team over." Jon turned to T'Pol. "What do we know about these people?"

"We have very little information about them in the database. They tend to be reclusive. The data we have indicates that they are a fairly peaceful species."

Jon nodded and touched the comm. "Malcolm, Trip, do you have the shuttle ready?"

Jon heard Trip's voice. "Yup, captain. We're ready to go."

Hoshi turned to Jon. "They said that they're grateful for the help."

* * *

Trip knelt down, twisting his body so that he could peer up into the small compartment, his head in under the wall as he hunched forward. "Malcolm, could you hand me a light, please?" he said as he tried to evaluate the extent of the damage to this section.

Malcolm crouched down slightly, trying to find a torch among the tools that were next to the compartment. As he leaned down, he stumbled a bit, catching himself with one hand against Trip's backside. Seeing where his hand landed, he smiled. Then he giggled. And he slapped Trip's bum.

Trip twisted around, pulling his head out to look at Malcolm in shock and surprise.

Seeing the look on Trip's face, Malcolm tried to compose himself. "I'm sorry, I..." he tried to say more, but he burst into laughter, backing up against the opposing wall and sliding down until he sat on the floor, his head cradled in his arms, laughing.

Trip pulled himself from the compartment, sitting down on the floor and watching Malcolm. "Are you all right?"

Malcolm struggled to catch his breath. Still laughing, he looked up at Trip. "I'm not sure," he said between giggles. "I feel a bit high, a bit smiley. My head's buzzing." He shook his head. "Dizzy. My lips are tingling."

Trip frowned, and tapped his comm. "Enterprise, we have a problem."

Hoshi's voice came across the comm., worried. "What's wrong, commander?"

Malcolm waved at Trip. "You needn't do that," he said, then giggled again. "I'll be grand in a minute," he said as he lay down on the floor along the wall, smiling up at the ceiling.

Trip looked at Malcolm, and a snort burst past his lips. "I'm not sure, Hoshi," he said, then he started to smile. "We're feeling all bright eyed and bushy tailed down here," he snickered. "Um, actually, maybe Phlox had better come down..." he murmured, unable to finish as he exploded into laughter.

* * *

Malcolm opened his eyes to find himself in sickbay. Again. He groaned, draping one arm across his eyes to block the light.

"How are we feeling, lieutenant?" Phlox said cheerfully.

Malcolm groaned again. "Ah, my head," he murmured softly, closing his eyes.

"Sorry, I'll give you something for that," Phlox said, pulling out a hypo, making an adjustment and then injecting his patient.

Malcolm sighed and moved his arm away from his eyes. Keeping his eyes closed, he said softly. "What happened?"

He heard Trip's voice from nearby. "The environmental system where we were working went haywire. It made us loopy."

"You all right?" Malcolm asked quietly, his eyes still shut.

"Yeah, you got the brunt of it, since you were closer to the vent."

Malcolm nodded, then groaned again. "Feel like I went on a bender, without the benefit of the drink."

Trip chuckled, and Malcolm felt a hand on his arm. He started suddenly, and tried to sit up as Trip pressed him back, his eyes opening in alarm. "What's wrong, Malcolm?"

"Commander, I'm..." he blushed floridly, and seemed to come to attention, despite his prone position on the bed. He cleared his throat. "I apologise for my earlier actions. I should never have..."

Trip interrupted him. "No worries, Malcolm. You weren't in your right mind."

Malcolm shook his head, then grimaced against the headache. "Still, sir, I shouldn't have. It was completely inappropriate behavior."

At Malcolm's anguished expression, Trip patted him on the arm. "Apology accepted. Get some rest, lieutenant." Trip turned and took a step away from the bed. As he walked towards the exit, he shot back over his shoulder, "I'm sure it was a tempting target."

When Malcolm groaned again, Phlox stepped back to his bedside. "Are you feeling well, lieutenant?"

"Can I die now?"

* * *

Hoshi slid into the seat next to Malcolm, placing a package on the table in front of him. "I heard that you had quite the adventure."

Malcolm flashed her a morbid look.

"Trip told me..."

"What?" he said sharply.

She smiled. "He mentioned that there might have been some inappropriate touching..."

He groaned and closed his eyes.

"Cut it out, Malcolm. So you slapped his butt? It wasn't your fault." When he didn't respond, she pressed on. "Anyway, we missed the holiday party, but Travis was kind enough to grab our presents. Here's yours."

Malcolm opened his eyes, looking at the present with something akin to dread in his eyes. Then he looked back at Hoshi. "I slapped my commanding officer's bum," he said flatly.

"Yes, you did. But you'll live. Now open your present!"

* * *

Trip shifted the case of beer to his other hand, and buzzed the comm. outside of Malcolm's cabin. When the door opened, Trip held up the beer. "We missed the beers the other day, so I figured we could make up for lost time."

Malcolm nodded and moved aside to let him in.

Trip slid the case onto the floor next to the desk, and plopped down in the chair. He leaned down to the case, tossing back, "Want one?" as he opened the box. Not waiting for an answer, he grabbed two bottles and handed one up to Malcolm, who settled himself, cross- legged, on the nearby bed, and took the offered drink.

Trip opened his drink and took a long sip, watching Malcolm carefully over the top of his bottle. "So, what did you get from your Secret Santa?"

Malcolm looked at him, confused, saying, "Hmm?" around his sip of beer.

"The gift from the party."

"Oh, I got a knife."

"I got this twelve-pack." Trip grinned and held up his bottle, toasting Malcolm. After a moment of silence, both men sipping from their drinks, Trip spoke again. "Are you all right?"

Malcolm nodded.

"You've seemed pretty quiet, since the repair mission."

Malcolm blushed slightly, taking another deep swig from his bottle.

Trip leaned forwards, towards the other man. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about."

Malcolm lowered his drink, raising his eyebrows and saying sharply, "I smacked my commanding officer's bum."

"Well, yeah, but it's just me." Seeing Malcolm's unease, Trip punched him on the shoulder. "Cut it out."

* * *

By the fourth drink, Trip was feeling a bit tipsy. He stood, and plunked down on the bed next to Malcolm. Turning to his friend, he said, "What do I have to do to get you to shake this thing off?"

Malcolm shrugged, saying, "It's nothing, sir. I'll get over it."

Trip grinned at him, and jostled him with his shoulder. "How 'bout if I slap your butt? Tit for tat, as it were?"

Malcolm looked at him in surprise. Then he said, "Pardon?" his mouth twitching, amusement in his eyes.

Trip tackled him, trying to wrestle, semi-drunk, and to reach Malcolm's bum. He laughed loudly as he tried to pin the other man, hearing a giggle slip from Malcolm as he squirmed beneath him. He lightly tapped his friend's thigh, then his back, and finally was able to hit his butt. He laughed loudly, pulling away. "Even?"

Malcolm tried to straighten up, then slumped back, onto his side, laughing and nodding his head. "Even."


End file.
